FF Let me Love You - Part 41

 
 

okay I know  I promised LIDV this week but somehow after the previous update of LMLY, it felt important to post this update this week itself and honestly when it comes to this story, the words do not stop ... I just keep on writing ! 

so yes ... as promised .. heart to heart ... there is only Arnav & Khushi in this update !

Happy Reading !





Once inside their room, Arnav locked it shut before turning to Khushi who was sitting on their bed, she was watching him, he could see her eyes pleading him to talk to her but words failed him today, he was at loss for all the emotions that overwhelmed him, he didn't even know how to tell her everything without causing her pain, he didn't want her to feel the trauma anymore, she had suffered too much already, even as he walked upto her, his eyes were drinking in her sight,
Her tresses flying slightly around her face because of the wind flowing in through the open windows, clad in a simple cotton top and jeans, her face unadorned, a small bindi on her forehead, she looked so innocent, so pure, so beautiful, and yet he knew that beneath the faade, there were memories that she wished to forget, memories of a hell that she had to endure while being alive.
He knelt down by her side and held her hands in his, he kissed each finger softly, and then he kissed the inside of her palms, he hugged himself close to her warmth and he felt her hands come around him and envelop him into a hug, the wave of peace that engulfed him whilst being in her arms, to feel the pulse of her heart and know that she is alive and holding him, protecting him from all the pain he had to endure in the past hours, and right then Arnav truly realized how precious she had come to be in his life, she was literally the reason he was alive, the reason he lived for and hell be damned, he wouldn't let anything happen to her !
He looked at her, his fingers grazing the side of her face, her wide anxious eyes asking him what had happened that was hurting him so much and he knew that he couldn't hide the truth from her, she deserved to know the truth and he knew she was strong enough, his Khushi was a fighter, he got up and sat in bed next her and kept his head on her lap, his face facing hers, his eyes looking straight into hers, he held her hands clasped tightly in his,
" Khushi, what am about to tell you, hear me out, do not stop me in between and once I finish, you can tell whatever it is that you feel but promise me that you wont let this consume you or break you apart, I want you to fight the demons Khushi, I want you to show them that beasts like them cant taint your heart or your body, promise me that you will fight along with me"  said Arnav as Khushi looked at him, she increased the grip of her hands in his as she replied,
" I promised you already Arnav, I have chosen to live my life with you, to walk with you as your wife till the end of times and whatever life throws at us, I will be there to face it with you. Now tell me what happened ? "
Arnav felt a sense of calm in his heart at Khushi's resilience as he started to narrate everything that had happened,
" Khushi, as part of the ongoing investigation against Nikhil, Rehaan and Zee have been tracking down his entire life, his friends, relations, personal and official assets, his financial transactions etc etc. we were mainly doing this so as to collect all those tapes and images that he has of you, plan was to collect them all so that it doesn't fall into the wrong hands.
Rehaan managed to confiscate all his assets but there was this one property Rehaan found, which was gifted to Nikhil by your father and since I wasn't around, Rehaan went there to check it out and what he saw there ... "
Arnav couldn't go on, his eyes fell shut as he tried to muster the courage to tell her, he felt her stroking his forehead,
" go on Arnav .. what did Rehaan see ? " asked Khushi as she held him.
Arnav steeled himself as he resumed speaking,
"  Khushi ... Rehaan came back from the house absolutely broken and shattered, and he narrated everything that he saw there to Akash and Zee because he was worried as to how I would take it but I saw them talking, I saw their pain and they couldn't hide it for long and so they told me.
Khushi I went to the house a few hours back, we all did .. Akash and Zee never saw the room though they know whats in there but I did "
Khushi's heart began to pick up pace, her eyes reflected fear, she could already sense what Arnav must have seen there but she didn't want him to stop, she urged him to continue speaking,
" what did you see there Arnav ? "
" Khushi ... the room I was in, it was hell. If there is ever a hell in Arnav Singh Raizada's life then its in that room. Khushi the room I was in, its in the same house used by the Guptas as their guest house, which your father gifted to Nikhil, I was in the room where they almost killed the woman I love ! " said Arnav, his eyes welling up in tears again.
Khushi felt her heart twist and knot as the memories engulfed her but she fought it as she held onto Arnav because she could feel the raging pain in him, she could see the struggle with which he was finding words to tell her what he saw there,
" don't stop Arnav ... tell me what you saw" 
Arnav held her close, his face pressing into her bosom as he continued,
" the bas***d, Vaid .. he had the walls lined with your images, too many of them Khushi ... Each one of them depicting your pain and tragedy of that hated day in your life, there was a TV screen in the room and if you switch it on ... Nikhil wasn't lying to us Khushi, he really has everything recorded in tape, the tapes played one after the other Khushi and I could do nothing but watch you.
It felt as though I was there with you and yet could do nothing to save you !
I saw that day in your life Khushi. I saw your pain ... your agony.
Until today, all the pain I thought I understood was from the memories you shared with me but today, now I know the true horror of what they did to you.
I saw everything Khushi ... forgive me but   couldn't run from there like a coward in the face of your agony. "
Khushi sat still, but her grip on Arnav didn't relent, her heart felt heavy under the onslaught of emotions, she couldn't gather her thoughts anymore, the memories were burned into her memory as clearly as it would be on tape, tape could be erased but not her memory !
The nightmares of that day had decreased ever since Arnav entered her life but she would never forget the day and to know that Arnav had come face to face with the very day in her life which she never wanted to visit ever again.
She looked down at him and all she saw was the pain and anguish and helplessness in his eyes as he looked at her, now she understood why Akash Rehaan and Zee had made that promise to her. She could so clearly understand their pain and how she wished they never had to deal with it.
She felt Arnav wiping away the tears that she couldn't stop, he got up and pulled her into his arms, hugging her close, Arnav let her shed out all her pain as he cried with her.
After a while he spoke to her,
" talk to me Khushi ... don't hold back ... its all been laid bare for us now "
Khushi pulled back a little and looked at him, her fingers caressing his face, he was shocked to see her smile through her tears and her words that came after left him astounded, shocked as he realized how much her trust in his love had healed her,
" what do I say Arnav ?
Yes am hurt ... am in pain ... but its not for myself or what happened that day, my pain is for you, for Akash Zee and Rehaan who had to deal with the reality that I never wanted anyone of you to know.
You walked into the house, knowing the horror that lay within, you had to see me at my weakest hours and I know the feeling of helplessness you must have felt, I saw the same in Rahul when he first found me in that mess, he was my brother and it killed him to see me that way, you are my husband, the pain you must have felt seeing the woman you love bleeding to her almost death, its worse than any pain that any man could ever endure ! its equal to death and yet you faced it all alone !
Rehaan walked into the unknown and he is enduring the same pain that I saw in Rahul's eyes.
But look at me Arnav ... don't you understand ? I am one of the luckiest women alive today !
Most of the women who have been in my place, they were abandoned by their families friends and the society, they were cast away to bleed to their deaths, they .. the victims were termed as the culprits, they perished Arnav, they died all alone knowing that they were hated for crimes they never committed.
And look at me, my own family threw me into that hell but they couldn't destroy me, Rahul came for me, he saved me, he avenged my death at the cost of his life, he left me in the protection of Naina and Alaka until you came along, you Arnav ... you took me into your life as though I were the center of yr universe, despite knowing everything that happened, you love me unconditionally.
You gave me a family that's mine more than my own blood could ever come to be !
Maa Papa Pari Akash Alisha Zee Rehaan ... I have each one of you to hold onto.
Aryan and Naina who have already done so much for my protection ... I can never stop counting my blessings ever !
Today after everything that happened, I have 3 brothers who promised me they would always protect me.
And I have YOU.
Arnav, today you saw something that no man would ever want to see of the woman he loves. Most of the men, if they were put in your place, they would have abandoned me, never bothered to look at me again, they would never want me or any woman who has been in my place !
And yet you returned to me, you never even once hesitated to touch me, to show me your love, I can see the pain in your eyes but you aren't disgusted at me.
You love me Arnav ... and none of what happened to me could ever blemish that love of yours.
What more do I want Arnav ?
Everything I need .. I already have it. I have you.
I have run away too many times from you thinking that I was doing it for your happiness but then I promised you last time Arnav, that am choosing you and our future over my past and I intend for us to live our happily ever after Arnav.
I wont let my past ruin it for us.
I love you Arnav and I trust you. " said Khushi as she kissed him on his lips.
Arnav who was too shocked to respond, gathered her close as he kissed her back a moment later. It wasn't a kiss of passion or need.
It was the promise of unconditional love.
They broke apart after a while, Arnav looked at her, there was one more thing he had to do, he took her hand in his,
" Khushi I know you trust me ... so if I do something now, can you just believe in my love and let me do it and not stop me ? " asked Arnav.
Khushi was puzzled by Arnav's request but she nodded her head in agreement.
Arnav left the bed and went to draw the curtains and shut the window, the pale light from the lanterns in the room illuminated their surroundings giving it an ethereal glow. He came to her and took her by her hands and made her stand in the center of the room, he held her hands as he spoke to her,
" Khushi ... I have felt that I am married to you from the day I first saw you, you are already my wife to me in my heart but like I promised you, I will give you the wedding of your dreams and the first time I make love to you will be on the night when the world knows that you are my bride, the love of my life.
But today, Khushi I saw your wounds, I saw you bleed, I saw the bruises on your body and I can never forget it or ignore it.
I love you body and soul Khushi, and I want to heal the wounds, the ones in your soul and the ones in your body.
I am not asking for your permission Khushi ... I am just asking you to trust me, trust me to allow me to heal those wounds which I know are still there, lingering traces of the horror you faced. "
Khushi barely breathed, she didn't refuse, she closed her eyes as she remembered the wounds, Arnav was right, she still had the traces on her body, marks on her arms and limbs and torso that refused to fade away, and deep in her heart, she didn't want to hide them from Arnav anymore, she wanted to feel his touch.
Arnav didn't want to intimidate her so he took off his shirt first so that she wouldn't feel uncomfortable being exposed in his presence.
She opened her eyes to see him standing shirtless in front of her, he moved closer to her and slowly removed her top from her body, and then he removed the jeans she was wearing, Khushi stood in front of him in her inner wear, her eyes echoed the peace in her heart, there would be no more secrets between them.
Arnav took her hands in his, he saw the slight marks in her arms and he kissed each one of them, letting her feel his touch, allowing it to sink deep into her senses.
There were marks in her chest ... her bare waist ... her legs ... and he kissed them all without hesitance, it felt as though he were talking to her body and to her soul, he kissed each one of our wound marks, letting them know that each one of her scars was precious to him, that he loved them all, that they were the mark of her strength and survival.
His fingers lightly caressed her body, his lips leaving its touch on her marks, she felt enveloped in his essence, she could hear the beat of his heart, she could feel his touch, she could see his eyes which never left hers, that moment and Khushi felt as pure as any woman could ever feel, the horrors of her past seemed to fade away, all she could remember was Arnav, the man she had given her heart and soul to.
Khushi felt her heart pick up pace as she felt his touch scorch her senses, he hadn't missed a single scar, he had found them all and loved them unconditionally.
She opened her eyes to see him smile at her, he took her hand and led her into the shower, where they stripped away the little amount of clothing on their bodies, he turned on the shower and they stood under it, letting the water cascade down their bodies that were completely nude and laid bare.
They held onto each other, felt the water cleanse their body and soul, they shed a few tears ... they cried a little ... they laughed a little ... their eyes echoed their love for each other, their hands caressed each other without inhibitions. The felt the water wash away the dirt of their past. To Arnav, everything that happened to Khushi ... all her pain .. he imbibed them onto himself.
And as they stood there with their bodies laid bare, touching each other head to toe, there wasn't an iota of lust or desire they felt, they didn't feel the need to possess each other like lovers would do, they were attracted to each other, deeply attracted but they both wanted the blending of their bodies and souls to be born out of love and not as an escape from the horrors of their past.
Arnav turned off the shower, he wrapped her in a white towel and took her out of the cubicle and then he wiped away the water on her body, after which she did the same, they walked into their bedroom and without a word, he lifted her into his arms and placed her gently on the bed, he switched off the lights and got in next to her and held her close, stroking her face, occasionally peppering her faces with kisses, he slowly lulled her to sleep, he saw her close her eyes and drift off into a peaceful sleep with a beautiful smile adorning her face. And soon he too fell asleep, his face buried into the crook of her neck, their bodies held close as they clasped each other tight, a tangle of arms and legs, they slept like a pair of entwined souls they were.

Arnav through his act wanted Khushi to know that she could sleep bare with him, the man she loved  without the fear of having to meet his sexual needs, he wanted her to know that he wasn't in love with just her physical beauty but also her soul. He wanted her to feel safe and protected in their physical intimacy, she had been scarred by the brutal touch of men who were animals, and he wanted her to know that a man's touch could be loving and caring too ... he wanted her to know that he would always protect her and so he did.

Khushi slept that night, completely naked in the arms of her husband, Arnav was the first man in her life to whom she had laid bare her soul and body without any fears and her trust in him was iron clad, he had become the man who had healed every single wound in her body and her soul, given to her by men who were nothing short of animals. She could feel it in her soul that Arnav's touch wasn't born out of lust but out of his unconditional love for her.

FF Let Me Love You - Part 40

 


Hola


okay if there is anyone out there who wants to aim an axe at me for keeping u waiting this long .. you are free to do so coz I know I deserve that ! I know sorry wont suffice guys and I just wish I could write as frequently as I wish to but studies and career .. its taking up a lot of my time. but these stories I write on Arhi .. they are damn special to me, so I will never give up on them and will always write as I get the time and I want to thank each and everyone of my readers who have been so amazing in supporting whatever I write !

coming to the update, this I feel was the most difficult part I have written for LMLY, coz this I would call as one of the most crucial updates, the banner being used on PG1 of this thread of LMLY was mainly designed by Tammy as  asked her to keeping in mind this update. as a writer it was difficult for me to write it, there were times when I doubted as to whether I did it justice but I hope I did.looking forward to the feedback

Special mention ... this update is dedicated to my lil Cherry .. my bday girl Ananya who celebrated her bday yest ! Happy Bday lil one ... I hope you like this update ! bday hugs !




The days passed but there was a flurry of activities going on at Vaikuntha, to the extent that Rehaan Alisha and Zeeshan had temporarily decided to shift in along with Arnav & Khushi. Zeeshan and Aryan had analyzed the security situation and decided that no member of the family should be without protection until the case was solved, even Arnav's parents who were at their ancestral house had been placed under security. 

One of the upper study rooms at Vaikuntha had been transformed into a work area for Zeeshan and Rehaan, Zee had his staff work hard at find out anything and everything they could find out about Raj Gupta and his assosciates whereas Rehaan was on his own doing a thorough background check on Nikhil's activities over the years since what had happened to Khushi. 

Nikhil  was in custody but Rehaan had bigger plans, but he had a bigger worry and concern and he decided to discuss it with Zee and Akash before informing Arnav, and so the three men were in their study, 

" what is it Rehaan ? why did you call us here and why not let Arnav know ? "  asked Zee as he took a seat facing Rehaan while Akash sat on his other side.
Rehaan sighed to himself as he pondered on how to deliver this piece of information but he knew he had to, 

" Akash .. Bhaijaan .. over the past few days I have been tracking down Nikhil's activities over the past years, I have hacked into his email accounts, his bank accounts which I did because I got the clearance with the help of our lawyers, every possible activity of his I have them traced out, my intention was to remove and erase any digital copy of the films on Bhabhi, but then I realized that if we erase it then we would be destroying proof and it would weaken our case in the court, so they need to be preserved until the case has been dealt with on court which I know will take time. 

Now whilst going through Nikhil's accounts, I also checked for any possible conversation between Nikhil and his friends around the time when Bhabhi was raped, just to see if they were storing any possible hard copies of the tapes and I found out this plan they had, when Nikhil told us that copies of the film were made and were given to some of his friends for safekeeping, that's a lie !! 

I think he wanted us to go fishing on dead ends, I think he planned to feed us the names of the people who were involved in the incident and finish them off but that doesn't mean the evidence would be totally destroyed because there is no mention of any kind of evidence backup, maybe yes they met in person and discussed the details and we have to check into it but what I feel is that none of them have any copies except Nikhil. Of the multiple addresses that Nikhil has to his name, I had some of our men trace all these locations, Arnav Bhai and me, we both over the past few days did personally go to each of these locales and searched the house but there were no hard copies .. BUT .. " 
Rehaan hesitated as though he was struggling to bring out his next few words, Akash looked worried, even scared as to what he was about to hear but he encouraged Rehaan to go on, 

"  But there was this house that I checked on my own, Arnav bhai couldn't make it that day because of an important meeting back at the office and am glad he didn't make it because he would have been shattered if he had been in there unknowing of what to expect !! " 

"  what was in there Rehaan ?? what did you see .. tell us "  said Akash as Rehaan's body tensed up. 

" What I saw in there ... it left me shocked as to how inhuman some humans can become, worser than animals , worser than beasts ... some humans can be real demons !! 

And Nikhil is a demon, maybe he didn't directly hurt Bhabhi but he is as bad as the animals who tried to destroy her, he is a sadist of the extreme kind and someone who can descend to any levels to get what he wants. I doubt as to whether he was born to human parents to begin with because  cant fathom a human being like involved in such cruel acts. 

That house contains a room .. a room where hard copies of what happened to Bhabhi are kept but its not like its kept well concealed, its more like he created a hell, he is a psychopath ... he created life size portraits of every frame he captured of Bhabhi, there is a full screen TV in there which if you switch on will play the tapes in tandem order !! ... "  Rehaan couldn't complete his words as he choked on them. 

The words hung between them, suspended in space, echoing in their ears, as they tried to process the horror of what they had just heard. Rehaan had his head between his hands as he tried to block out the images that he unwittingly witnessed, his body shaking as hot tears escaped his eyes, Akash and Zeeshan got up and hugged him tight as they tried to process the truth that hung like an executioner's sword, Rehaan continued speaking, 

" I didn't know what to do, I didn't know whether to rush out of the place, or burn it up, Bhabhi agony and suffering, its all been put up for display, she isn't the only one in there, other victims I suppose, numerous other tapes, its all there. All I know is that Nikhil is a psychopath who shouldn't be allowed to live for another minute, every minute he is alive, he is a blotch on humanity's existence. To think that he drew pleasure from seeing other's destruction, I don't think I have met a more dangerous man in my life !!
And there is another thing, that house under Nikhil's name, it was given to him by Raj Gupta, I found copies of the property deed in Nikhil's account. It was gifted to him around the same year when they went after Bhabhi. I think it was a GIFT.

I feel sick ... and I feel I cant breathe anymore, how can any father do this to their daughter ? how can people be so cruel !! 

And .. 

How do we tell all this to Arnav Bhai ?? this will destroy him "  , Rehaan's eyes were the picture of agony as he looked at Zeeshan and Akash.
None of them spoke for a long while as they sat lost in thought, trying to figure out their net step, rage boiled in their deepest pits and coursed through their veins as the desire to rip Nikhil into shreds grew stronger but they knew that would hurt the case they were building up against Nikhil and Raj Gupta, they needed him alive. 

After a long while, Akash finally spoke, 

" we have to tell Bhai ! " 

Rehaan and Zeeshan looked at him with pain in their eyes, because even they knew that Arnav deserved to know, Arnav had the right to know, 

"  this will destroy Bhai, but he has the right. This is about Bhabhi and he needs to know this from us before he finds it out by any other means.
I know my brother, he is strong ... " Akash broke off in midsentence as he saw Arnav standing at the door. 

Rehaan and Zeeshan whipped around as they saw the shock on Akash's face, they felt fear knife through as they wondered how much Arnav had heard. They waited in trepidation as Arnav walked across the room towards them, his face set and serious, 

" tell me what guys ? 

I heard Akash, its something about Khushi and if its about her then I need to know. What is it ? " , Arnav's voice was calm like an ocean as he waited for their reply. 

Akash and Rehaan looked at Zee and nodded, after Arnav he was the eldest amongst them and they felt that it would be right if Zee told Arnav, Zee being the one who would understand Arnav the most as he too had a woman whom he loved like how Arnav loved Khushi.

Zee took Arnav's hand and made him sit down.

What happened in the next 20 mins inside that room was left to no one s imagination because as they feared, it left Arnav absolutely broken, the pain in Rehaan's eyes was enough for Arnav to understand the horror of the images and the tapes. His eyes had turned red as he clenched his fists tight, he looked at Rehaan directly, 

" take me there now. " 

Akash and Zee felt their hearts pick up pace, they knew Arnav would want to see the place and they knew he couldn't be stopped.

None of them said a word more as they stood up and headed out, Akash took the wheels as Rehaan sat next to him, while Arnav and Zee took the rear seats, Arnav had his eyes closed, deep in silence as they drove and in what felt like no time at all, they had reached the spot, the house loomed in front of them as if it was hell itself welcoming them in, dread and fear creeped into their hearts, knowing what lay inside, but Arnav got out without a word and started walking towards the house, the others were behind him but they hesitated as they reached the house, Rehaan didn't want to witness that room not for another instance while he was alive while Akash and Zee didn't want to glimpse the horror that was inside but at the same time they couldn't let Arnav walk in alone but just then Arnav turned around, 

" wait here ... I don't want anyone to come inside with me ... this is mine and Khushi's battle and this is about her ...I know that someday what lies inside will become part of a criminal investigation but until then I don't want anyone to witness it until it needs to be. Rehaan saw them unwittingly and I wont put my brothers through the horror of witnessing it along with me. So wait here, I will come back. "  he said as he looked at them one last time before heading in.

Arnav turned around and left, despite sounding so strong in front of his brothers, his heart threatened to fail with each step that he took closer to his destination, his body shook as he neared the door, his hands on the knob, he steeled himself as he opened the door calmly and entered the room, his eyes closed as he shut it and locked it behind him, and then he opened it ... and his heart stopped beating.

Arnav felt the earth slip away from beneath his feet, he felt the air leave his lungs as he felt the vines of agony vise around his heart, choking him, he stumbled forward into the room as the images overwhelmed his senses and threatened to kill him, none of the other faces mattered, she was all that mattered.
Khushi's face, a picture of agony and destruction, Arnav lost his step and slipped to the floor as the images swam in front of his eyes, the bruises on her body, the blood around her, it wouldn't be too much to say that Arnav didn't shed tears but he shed blood at that moment, his eyes fell on the TV screen and his hands reached for the remote, his fingers touched the button and what came next had Arnav wishing that he were dead than having to witness Khushi's destruction. 

Her helpless cries crazed his senses into insanity, the animals laughing at her pain as they went on her relentlessly, brutal and animalistic, the long hours of agony which saw Khushi falling silent in the face of abandonment. Her cries ceased, she looked deathlike in her acceptance of her fate, as the fight left her heart and her body, as the mirth of her attackers reached fever pitch while she lay there as though dead, the silent tears that left her eyes, the blood that oozed from her wounds, he bruises darkening.

Arnav felt his sense explode, his heart shattering as he witnessed the love of his life being torn apart. His helplessness when he saw Khushi lying on the floor as though dead while her attackers exited the room, a lone face left to die in the prison her attackers had led her into.

The rage coursed through him and he knew he would never be able to contain the revulsion and hatred that welled up inside him, if Jay was alive today then Arnav knew he would have ripped him with his bare hands and have him fed to the dogs and erase his identity. The rampant desire to kill the ones who were still walking scot free rose in Arnav like a raging volcano, he knew that a fate worse than death awaited each one of them. He looked at Khushi's face, his thoughts went back to all the times he had spend with her, his respect for her surmounted as he understood fully as to how much she had struggled and survived, he felt the urgent need to see her, to be with her, to hold her in his arms and tell her that he would shield her from all the evil in the world, that he would avenge her, that he would love her forever. And with that thought in mind, Arnav found the strength return, he stood up and exited the room without another glance.

He met the others who were waiting for him, if they were shocked seeing him, then they didn't utter a word, they got in with him as he took the wheels this time but he drove him calmly like always, if there was a battle raging in him, then none of them knew about it or were allowed to witness it.

They reached Vaikuntha, Arnav looked at them,

" go inside guys, do not tell Khushi anything, I will talk to her, this is something she needs to hear from me, I will come inside in a short while, I just need sometime alone, don't worry, I am just going to the garden. " 

They nodded as Arnav exited the car and went off while they entered the house, Alisha saw them come in and one look at their faces and she knew something was wrong but before she could ask them anything, Zee spoke, 

" where is Khushi ?? " 

Alisha gestured them towards the inside as she looked at them worriedly, she had never seen Zee so upset, the deathlike stare in his eyes scared her but before she could ask anything they walked away and she followed them inside, Khushi was sitting on the couch and talking with Alaka and Payal.
Akash Rehaan and Zee walked towards her as quick as their feet would take and whatever happened next, it left Khushi shocked and worried, because she saw three men who were like her own brothers to her break down onto her waiting arms, they slid onto the floor next to her and hugged themselves onto her lap as the tears slipped down their faces, she held them but looked at the shocked faces of Alaka Payal and Alisha who were all left equally speechless, the minutes passed and they didn't speak a word. 

Meanwhile it had started to rain outside and Arnav let the water seep into his body, as he attempted to control the fury raging in him, the tears fell like drops of blood as he sat there, the fury consumed him and as the thundering rainstorms turned to a drizzle, he felt as though a storm had passed, once he believed himself to be in control, the need to meet Khushi overwhelmed him, he knew she was waiting for him and so he walked back to the house.
Back inside, Khushi saw the three men who had just wept in her arms look at her with something akin to divine love and respect, specially Rehaan, the understanding she saw in his eyes instilled a sense of fear in her heart, she felt as though he had witnessed something that made him understand her agony to its full extent but when Akash spoke, she knew he was speaking for all three of them,

Bhabhi, today as your brothers, we promise you that everyone single person out there, each one of those demons who ruined your life, Raj Gupta, Maya, Nikhil , and all the others. They will never be free for long. We will make sure that they get a fate worser than death, because death would be too kind a punishment for them, we will make sure they beg for their death at your feet, we promise Bhabhi and  will do anything and everything that needs to be done to fulfill our promise. " said Akash as he kissed her hands and got up and walked away, Rehaan hugged her tight before following Akash while Zee got up, he cupped the side of her cheeks and smiled at her fondly before placing a kiss on her forehead. 

He looked at Alisha who was watching him worriedly, tears glazing her eyes and he smiled at her, held out his hand for her to take, and he led her away while Alaka and Payal followed them.

Khushi sat there, she had tears in her eyes as she recollected their promise, her heart seeking the solace that only Arnav could give her, she knew that today she would get her answers only from Arnav, or else they wouldn't have left her there all alone, she knew that Arnav would soon be by her side and just as she looked up, she saw him walk in and the sight of him left her shocked, he was drenched in rain, his eyes looked bloodshot with all the tears that he had shed, he looked like a man who had been destroyed and then brought alive, but with scars haunting him, and he reached her before she could blink, her name fell like a prayer from his lips as he scooped her into a hug,
" KHUSHI"
Without a word, he picked her up and carried her away into their room.

PRECAP - HEART TO HEART.
next update will be Love In Death Valley ( next week )

OS - The Star That Was Lost Once

When I write for you T, I have this urge to make it special, for you and for a couple of others in my life ( whom I am sure you very well know ;) ) , when I write for you girls, I stretch my own boundaries and try to write it the best way I can and this OS is for you on your special day.

T we met over your stories, we bonded over your stories, we got to know each other through our stories, and somewhere along that lane, you became very special for me, as a friend. You went onto become one of my best friends and you will always be that and much more for me.

T first of all I owe you a big sorry because I wont be around for your bday, I hate it when things clash but this is unavoidable and I have to go, I will be back only on Monday but  whatever I want for your bday, I will be posting it here and in FB before leaving and you will get it on time. I cant let u miss me on your bday now .. can I ;)

I love you T , like I will never be able to find the right words to tell you how much you mean to me but you mean everything to me. You are like among the people I NEED to have in my life, you know I always tell you this, but just simply thinking of you makes me SMILE ;) its always been like that.

Am sure you will have a blast on your bday, I will be looking forward to the PICS, I wish Satina was around you now so that I could ask her to give you a hug from my side as well and smash an extra piece of cake on your face ;)

But if you are going home for your bday, ( then yes Satina, pls do grant me my request :P )

Have a wonderful bday and a rocking year ahead ... praying that we all grow old together !! ;)

Love you T ... tight tight tightest hugs ... absolute panda hugs and penguin kisses as we call it ! ;)

Happy Birthday Tina.

I pray that all your dreams come true, every single one of them because you deserve all the happiness in the world.

Banner Credit to Bijal <3 

The night was quite, there was a slight breeze, but not too chilly, the stars shone bright, lighting up the skies but to her it felt like they were trying to reach out and wrap her up in their absolute comfort, the tears never stopped gliding down her face as she struggled to breathe, every inhale she took, she felt the air was choking her just like how it choked the life out of the soul for whom she had been waiting for so long, for whom THEY had been waiting so long.

Talking to the stars was something she had grown upto, it was how she felt connected to her parents, this was how she felt them close, always offering her comfort when she needed it the most, and ever since she and Arnav had been together, it wasnt just her parents, but she had his mother too, she could always see 3 stars smiling down at her and she had quite a bond with his Mama who seemed to have become her best friend, her solace whenever she needed it, but today she had only one unspoken plea which she knew Mama could hear,

" tell them to take me Mama ... they could have taken me ... why did you let him choose me over her ... she died even before she could ever open her eyes and look at us once ... how can I breathe this air when I know she was choked ! " ,

Khushi cried into herself as she gripped her knees, her body rocking against the walls of the French windows. Just then there was a knock on the door and Khushi turned to see Anjali enter, her sister-in-law s eyes echoed the same pain that racked her body, she rushed to Khushi and engulfed her in a hug as another bout of sobs racked through her, Anjali could feel the pain, she knew what that loss could feel like, but she also saw the guilt that her brother and his wife lived through every day since the past 2 weeks, Khushi was speaking through her tears,

" why Di !

Why did you let him take this decision .. How could anyone make him choose ! even if it was a choice, then why me over a life thats barely known what it is to be alive !

How could you all just decide to cast it away just so that you could save me ?

You could have told the doctors to do their job, and save the one who had the best chance to survive, not the one you chose instead ! maybe she could have been alive today then.

Di you knew what it was to loose her, you once felt it, you were the happiest to know she was coming, you always felt that the Gods were sending back the one that they took from you, yet you let her go again !

Have you seen Arnav these days Di ?

Have you looked at him , the guilt he carries, how is he going to live with that ?? "

Khushi's questions were never ending but Anjali hushed her, she held her close in her warmth, the same warmth that Khushi felt when she spoke to their Mama,

" Ssshh Bhabhi .. you need to stop blaming yourself, you need to stop blaming him, none of us deserve to live with this guilt because whatever we did, we did it right.

Yes the pain will always be there that we had to let her go, that we could do nothing to save her. But what Arnav did was the right thing to do back then, you know how much he loves you, how much we all love you. When the moment came, your life was in danger, she was in danger but the doctors felt only one could be saved.

How can you expect Arnav to choose her over you ?

Do you think it will be easy for him to love her when she will always remind him of the choice he had to make, the choice that killed the woman he loves the most, the one who is the reason behind all his happiness ?

Bhabhi, whether we like it or not, we have to understand one thing about men, a woman becomes a mother the day she realises that she is carrying a life in her but a man becomes a father only when he holds his child for the first time.

The ugly truth is that if a choice ever happens, Arnav as your husband will always chose you and the husband in him will always be dominant over the father in him, because if he didnt have you, then he wouldn't have known what it is to be a father.

If we had made him choose her over you, Arnav would have never been able to accept her Khushi, yes he would have loved her, he would have raised her like a princess but a part of him would always remain broken and no one would have been able to heal him, not even she would be able to heal him because the broken part would be your essence in his life.

Yes we lost her but destiny and Gods will always give you a second chance, this isnt over Bhabhi, you and chottey can still have a family, but if you had been lost then there would be no way to bring you back again, no way anyone could replace you in his heart, no way he would ever love again !

You think its guilt thats ruling him Bhabhi ?  more than the guilt, its the pain .. the fear ... the fear of losing you despite saving you !

He put you to sleep but he has been so worried about you that he asked me to take care of you while he went to have a talk with our doctor once again, on how to make sure you become fine.

But its not just you who needs comfort now Bhabhi, he needs it too, he needs you badly right now, you both need to heal together, you both have to move on, you still have a life together and not everyone are lucky Bhabhi, you still have a husband who loves you unconditionally, you have your anchor, don't weep over what your lost Bhabhi but count your blessings. "

Anjali said as she placed a kiss on Khushi's forehead, just then the door opened again and Arnav walked in, Anjali got up and smiled at him as she slowly exited the room and closed the doors behind her.

Arnav sighed as he walked over to her, he sat down by her side and pulled her into a hug, well more than giving comfort, Khushi felt that he was seeking peace in her, she pulled apart a little to look at him, she needed to see him, but as she looked into his tired bloodshot eyes, her thoughts went back to that day at the hospital,

Her labour pains had just started, Arnav and their families were with her, his grip tight on her as they led her inside, the doctors had taken the call that it would be a normal delivery but the labour went on for hours and Arnav had been with her through all of it, but then came the shocker they never expected,

Their doctor informed them that the delivery was turning out to be a difficult one and they would have to do a c-sec, but the worst of it all was when they handed over  a document to Arnav and said they needed his consent, because of complications, they might have to choose because only one could be saved and Arnav was asked to make the decision, his wife or his daughter !!

Khushi had watched as Arnav's grip on her hands turned numb, his eyes glazing over with the tears, their eyes had met as they recalled all the memories they had about their baby, the dreams they had woven, the joy in his eyes as they did the scans and Arnav was told that he would father to a girl. It was one of the happiest Khushi had ever seen him. Every emotion and memory washed over them, and then she saw the changes in his persona, she knew he was making the decision, she saw his eyes steeling in determination, and her heart knew the choice he would make, she knew he wouldn't let her die, not even for their daughter, she couldn't imagine taking that call, she opened her mouth to speak but he hushed her, he lightly kissed her on her lips and pulled away, his words still echoing in her head,

" don't say a word Khushi .. don't make this more difficult than it already is .. I know what you want to say and you know I cant give that to you .. so don't ask for something that I can never do .. I can't let you die Khushi ... I just can't. Call me selfish but I can't let you go. "

And then without a word he had turned to the doctors as the pain seared through her body again,

" I want you and your team to try and save both my wife and my daughter as best as you can but if the need for a choice comes, then I want my wife alive in my arms, I need her alive and you should do whatever it takes to keep her alive. "

Khushi closed her eyes as her heart shattered at the decision, she couldn't blame him, she knew he was going through the same, and then the next she knew was Arnav hugging her close as she whispered in her ears,

"promise me Khushi ... promise me that you will come back to me ... promise me you wont choose to leave me ... I cant loose you Khushi ... I cant ..  I need you to fight this and come back .. I will be waiting " , he said as he placed a kiss firmly on her lips and then walked away as the nurses came in to take her to surgery.

But the worst wasnt over ... the surgery was completed but their baby couldn't be saved but Khushi was out of danger, Arnav was beside her as he held onto her tight and close while their families surrounded them, the doctor had come in and requested that he wanted to speak to them alone, later in the privacy of their room, the doctor revealed the worst news any parent would want to hear,

" according to protocol, we are duty bound to share this information with both of you, you both have the right to know, we did try our best to save the child, till the very end we did try but the umbilical cord had got twisted around the baby's windpipe, it choked her, she couldn't breathe, we tried our best but she was suffering too much. We are sorry "

Nothing could have prepared them for this knowledge, that their baby had struggled so much before she died, that she was fighting to breathe, to stay alive. If any part of their heart felt alive, even that had been killed when they heard it.

Arnav's body shook when he received his daughter's corpse from the doctor, Khushi couldn't even see her baby with the tears that glazed her eyes, they had held onto each other as Arnav had lit the pyre and did the final rites for their daughter they never got to know.

And even now as the memories of that fateful day flashed in their eyes, they felt the intensity of the pain seize over their hearts, Khushi pulled him back into her hug as they wept, no words were exchanged as the tempest broke and they wept together, letting the pain wash over them for the first time in 2 weeks, they battled it together.

Khushi could finally see the truth in Anjali's words, they were still lucky, they had each other to live for, what happened was inevitable, their loss would always remain a loss but they had a life to live , a life they could live together and not alone.

They pulled apart after a few hours, Khushi's head resting over his heart, their hearts beating in unison, after  a while they looked up at the skies, there was a new star shining brightly surrounded by the three other stars, as though the brightest of them all were being protected and they instantly knew it in their hearts, Arnav smiled through his tears, he smiled up at the star, his voice a soft whisper,

"forgive me princess for what Papa did .. I do love you .. all I can do is be honest with you .. I love your Mama more ... I couldn't let her go "

Khushi's heart wept as she heard him but she knew she had to heal him and only she could, she looked at the star , a smile on her lips,

" but Mama and Papa will always love you and we know you are in an even better place than we are, you have three angels watching over you Princess, three angels who will love you as much as we do. "

And the star twinkled as though in agreement and so did the other three stars.

Arnav smiled as he  got up and helped Khushi stand up, she was still weak, not fully recovered after the surgery, he lifted her in his arms as he carried her over the threshold and placed her on the bed, he then turned and locked the room and the french windows, but he didnt pull the curtains, he left them open. He knew from today on, neither he or Khushi would ever be able to draw the curtains, not when they knew their princess was watching them.

And for the first time in weeks, they slept in peace as they held each other close, the love healing all the pain they had to endure.

A year later,

Arnav had his arms wrapped around his Khushi as their driver took them to RM, in Khushi's arms there was a sleeping bundle of joy, Tara , barely a month old was in a deep sleep as her parents took her home from the orphanage from where they adopted her.

Arnav and Khushi had given it a lot of thought, they wanted to try for another baby, they promised each other that they would try for another baby but only after the doctors assured them that it was safe for Khushi to conceive again. Till then the doctors had advised Khushi to remain on birth control to prevent the risks.

 But the loss of their first born made them think about the millions of orphaned lives in the country, and they thought , " if the Gods took their life away .. then why not give life to another soul " . And thats how they had started scouring orphanages and eventually found Tara who was found abandoned at a church when she was barely few days old.

Anjali had picked the name, as she said, this baby was the star coming back home, the star they lost, the star that always shone bright in the night skies that adorned Shantivan.

The lost star was home at last ... Tara had come home

FF Let Me Love You - Part 39

Okay, An apology is due for the long long delay in updates, I am really sorry guys, but I have to say that my updates from now on are not going to be fixed at all, its my final semester of post graduation and I am working on my final year project, then there is the job hunt going on, work at home, in between all this I rarely get time to write. I will try to post 2 updates per month, I guess I can manage that but weekly updates, I don't see it happening. And since my updates will be less frequent, I will be sending PM as well as email alerts so that nobody misses the updates ;)

Thank you for not forgetting my stories and patiently waiting for me to update. This update of LMLY, well I have always believed that we all have an inner voice, something or someone that is like a mirror reflection of us, its the face of our reality and we all encounter it from time to time whenever a situation arises and this update is mostly about Khushi's inner voice ... am sure most of you might have already guessed who it could be but check out the update ... I will be looking forward to your comments  !!

Happy Reading !

Khushi was in her room, the tears still staining her cheeks as she recalled Arnav's words, the hurt in his eyes when she had asked him to leave, the anger coursing through him when he had wrenched his hand away and his defeated persona when he had walked away, she couldn't take any of it and she knew all of it was her fault, she blamed herself for everything that went wrong around them but deep inside she also knew that whatever was happening could happen to anyone and no good would come come by blaming oneself for something thats beyond one's control.

She looked out into the skies, the stars always spoke to her, somewhere amidst those stars, she saw Rahul , her Mama , his Mama .. they were all out there always smiling down at her and she always drew comfort from them. There was a light wind caressing her face, she turned and saw Rahul's violin on one corner beside her bed, she went and took it in her hands, fresh tears clung to her eyes as his loss shook her again, she closed her eyes as she held it close, it still contained his essence, she could feel him around,

" I hate your tears Khushi ... and you know that. "

Her eyes flew open as she whirled around, too shocked to speak, she couldn't even believe if she was seeing it all for real, Rahul as she always remembered him was perched on her window ledge, he was smiling at her, his eyes looked at her affectionately, as he beckoned her to come,

" come here Khushi .. sit down. We have to talk. "

Too numb to even ask or respond, she went and sat as instructed, she kept gazing at him, unblinking eyes drank in the sight of him, like she was taking much needed air to breathe, her lips were a soft shocked whisper,

"is this even real Rahul ?

Am I just dreaming all this up ?? "

Rahul smiled at Khushi as she saw him bring his hands close and move away the loose strands of her hair, she closed her eyes at his touch, they were cold on her face, deathlike yet there was a sense of familiarity in it,

" I am here Khushi but I wont be here long, maybe all this will feel like a dream, but I had to talk to my sister, put some sense into her before she went down the path of self-destruction, so here I am. "

Khushi clutched his hands, trying to smile through her tears ... " why did I have to loose you ?? even when you left, you left me in the care of Pari, you knew she would watch over me, you even had Arnav picked for me, your presence is all over my life and yet I don't have you.

Why didnt the Gods spare you ... for me .. for Pari. "

Rahul looked at her sadly, he missed Pari so much, he hated seeing her so alone, he was so proud of his girl but the pain of loss that she carried, it always stung him, but he also knew Pari wouldn't be alone for too long, a small smile crept up his face as he looked at his baby sister,

" I miss both of you Khushi, but thats life Khushi .. we don't get everything we want, loss and pain are human emotions we all have to endure.

Khushi maybe my death was inevitable, we all have to die someday and we will no matter how much we resist. I have no regrets Khushi, yes I know Pari is alone but my girl is a brave one, and now when I look at her, I know she wont be alone for too long, besides she has got all of you. You will all help her to move on from me, maybe in the next birth we can have a life together.

And you, I left you in the hands of a man who protects you even better than I did ... and yet Khushi you are hurting him .. thats why am here.

You cant hurt Arnav .. you cant and you wont. "

Khushi felt her heart twist and tighten as she thought of him, his eyes reflecting the pain and hurt she had inflicted,

" I feel guilty Rahul ... somehow I can never stop thinking that Arnav and his family wouldn't have to go through any of these problems if they hadn't met me, Arnav could have had a much more easier life.

I know he loves me ... and I love him back too. But the problems that have surrounded him and his family because of me doesn't seem to end ever. "

Rahul fixed her with a firm glare, " well don't you love giving yourself a lot of self importance Khushi ?? !! " Khushi looked at him confused but Rahul didnt stop speaking ,

" well in the first place, what makes you think that if you weren't a part of his life, then it would be a lot more easier ?

How do you know that Khushi ?? do you have any divine powers to come to those conclusions ??

If you weren't the one meant for him, then it would have been someone else, he would have met the one written on the fates for him.

He would love that person, do everything it takes to keep her happy and protect her.

Khushi what you need to understand is that, Arnav is what he is and he has always been like this. He loves his family unconditionally and will jump in front of any bullet for them.

All of us have to live our life, there is no running from the happiness written for us just because there are problems. How long will you run Khushi ?

If you decide to run then you will have to do that for the rest of your life ahead, and then amidst all that running, your time on earth will end and you will die. And when you are on your death bed, and look back at your life, will you feel happy ?

Will there be anything for you to call as a memorable life that you have lived here ?

All you will have is a lot of running around you did, all you will have is going to be  memories of you hiding away while your past chased you down.

Whats the point of such a life Khushi ?? whats the point when on the alternate you can live your life as long as it lasts happily with the people you love ?

Whether you protect him or not, Arnav is going to die on the day meant for him ... "  Rahul saw Khushi flinch at the mention of Arnav's death but he didnt relent,

" there is no use flinching Khushi, it will happen when it has to, birth and death and the life in between, its the natural order and you cant alter it.

You will die when the time comes ... all of us have to die someday.

So then why not make the little time we have on this earth beautiful ?

Khushi you have a man who loves you unconditionally, a man who thinks about you in every heartbeat of his, that kind of love is rare and you have to live it.

Live it with Arnav, face the obstacles with your head held high, don't be a coward Khushi. Stop running. By trying to push them all away from you, you are not protecting them but you are only trying to lessen your guilt.

You aren't God Khushi that you can guarantee anyone's protection ... hell you cant even protect yourself Khushi !

None of us can .. its not in our hands, we can only try but there is no assurance to that.

Stop trying to control the fates ... its not in your hands. What you can do is live your life as your heart desires to and rest leave it to destiny.

He is hurt Khushi ... and you are the reason, he doesn't deserve this pain.

You have a beautiful life ahead Khushi ... and its with Arnav.

If you abandon it, neither will you or he be happy ? whats the point of being alive but to be unhappy ?

Look at Pari ... how I wish I could have a life with her, but it just was not written in our fates, we loved and we lost it.

But not you Khushi, you have your love with you today, be with him, live your life instead of hanging onto the spectres of your past.

Don't let your past haunt your present or future !! "

Khushi felt her heart lighten as she listened to Rahul, the dark clouds that had wrapped over her heart seemed to be shifting a little and even as she felt the realisation sink in, Rahul was fading away, his hands on her were loosening but she didnt panic, she didnt call out, she watched him smile at her in approval as she let him go, knowing that his time on earth was over, that this meeting with him was only something she would feel  understand, it was her heart's way of answering her own doubts and fears, and no one could answer her questions the way Rahul did.

One star was twinkling brightly at her and she smiled at it, as she repeated the four words she would always tell him,

" I love you ... Bhai "

And as she sat down by her bed, she picked up the violin and played one of Rahul's favourite tunes, something he had composed which they played whenever they got the time, her heart felt calm as an ocean, she had her answers and she knew what to do.

A while later Khushi got up and left her room, it was late night and everyone else seemed to be sleeping. She went to the room that she knew was hers too, she opened the door softly as she walked in, she knew he wouldn't be sleeping and he wasn't.

He was at the windows, watching the stars, she knew he felt her but he didnt turn around, she crept up behind him and hugged him from behind, her hands clutching him tightly, but he didnt hold her back, she didnt mind it though because she knew he was hurt, but he did speak,

" I heard you play the violin Khushi ... it was soulful ... beautiful just like the person who played it. "

Khushi buried her face onto his back as she held him tighter, a few moments later she loosened her grip and turned him around, he looked at her, his eyes were tired and hurt, she slowly led him towards his bed and made him sit down on the edge, she gently pressed his forehead, smoothening the worry lines, she stroked his face, and then she sat down next to him, and held his hand,

"you didnt have anything ... did you Arnav ?? "

He shook his head in answer but didnt say anything more. She hugged him on his side, her face resting over his heart,

" I am sorry Arnav.

I know sorry isn't a word that will be enough for how I behaved back then and I am not going to justify myself or defend myself because I know I was wrong.

Its not that I don't want this life with you, I dream of us growing old together everyday but at the same time the danger that lies ahead threatens to shatter everything I dream. And sometimes its the fear that rules me. "

Arnav listened to her and then Khushi's voice became more misty and slow,

"but then someone told me that I cant control life's events, that I cant assume for sure that if I move away then everything will be fine.

And Arnav I don't want to look back at my life and realise that I never lived my life ... not when I have you to live it with.

I choose you Arnav Singh Raizada ... over my fears , over my past , over my insecurities ... I choose a life with you over everything and everyone else in this world.

I love you and I promise you today that I will walk with you down the road wherever it takes us.

I am sorry Arnav .. sorry for causing you so much pain. "

Arnav didnt let her say anything more as he pulled her into a tight all consuming hug, his head buried on her tresses as he placed fierce kisses on her neck and jawline. Khushi closed her eyes as she relished his touch. They held onto each other for a long moment before they broke apart, both of them smiling through their tears which they wiped away,

" I am sorry too Khushi. I know I was harsh and rude. I hated seeing you so hurt and shaken up, but I couldn't let you pull away from me. I wanted you to decide for once and for all this time. and I knew you needed to do it on your own without anyone forcing their views on you.

I am really sorry I left you alone back there ... "

Khushi placed her hands over his lips as she hushed him,

" Ssshh Arnav. Its fine .. you did the right thing.

I really needed that push to decide or else this fear would have consumed me forever and it would have ruined us. So there is nothing to regret now, you did the right thing " said Khushi and then she related the experience she had with Rahul and he listened to her, he didnt even question her as to if it was real or not because he knew that it was very much real for Khushi and thats all it mattered to him as he pulled her down onto the bed and took her lips in a kiss that seared through her bones and burned her blood as it raged on her soul.

They were a tangled mess when they finally broke apart, the air around them hot and heavy with the passion that coursed through their veins, Arnav hugged Khushi close as they both tried to calm down their raging heartbeats.

A while later Khushi dragged Arnav down to the kitchen and made him sit on the table as she got dinner warmed and then they both sat down and fed each other as they discussed things of the most trivial nature to more serious matters.

After dinner, Arnav took her for a walk in the gardens, Khushi had her arms circled around his waist as they walked for long, many a time not talking anything at all but just absorbing each other's feel on their body and soul.

After a while they stopped and Arnav nudged Khushi and directed her gaze towards the stars, a star was twinkling down at them, Khushi hugged Arnav tighter in her arms as she smiled back widely at the stars and she laughed when the star shone brighter, as though laughing in approval of his baby's sister's display of affection for her man.